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June 25, 2010 22:12 +0200  |  Career Green Party My Future Politics Self Reflection Travel Why I'm Here Work [at] Play 9

I had a rather enlightening conversation with an Old Friend over lunch yesterday. John, a former co-worker at Work [at] Play and I meet for lunch every few months, mostly to catch up on each other's lives and talk about how things are going at my present employer. He's since moved on to be the COO at VirtualDoubloon but we got along so well, that I figured the friendship was worth the maintenance.

This time around, we didn't talk about my current employer so much as how my life was moving in general. I was on the verge of my 31st birthday and coming out of both a romantic relationship and a (thankfully unrelated) business co-founding partnership and "what's next" was the primary topic of discussion.

He asked about my political career, specifically whether I'd run in the next election, and I explained that I'd love to if the riding association in North Vancouver-Seymour is unable to find a candidate, but outside of that, every topic we hit on didn't produce any enthusiasm from me. The truth is, I haven't been motivated by much since I moved here. I've been unable to get excited about the activist scene, and frankly my job stopped being interesting over a year ago.

This line of thinking gets worse when I consider that about six months ago I was in the very same position I am now. I was re-evaluating my whole reasoning for being in Vancouver and was so desperate for something to hold me here that I jumped at the chance to start a company with a stranger -- which for the record is not a good idea :-)

Since our conversation though, I've come to realise that too many of my decisions in this life so far have been ones governed by how those actions might affect others. This isn't to say that I've been a terribly selfless person, rather that I've let my own happiness be hindered by whether or not decision x was a Right decision, or whether it would make people I love unhappy.

I'm not going to do that anymore.

This can mean a variety of things. I might take dance classes, or join a choir, or even take this job. I might move to Stockholm, Amsterdam, Berlin, or Seoul too... I'm not sure yet. I'm just done with letting my happiness be governed by externalities.

31years in... I guess it's better late than never.

Comments

val
25 Jun 2010, 11:05 p.m.  | 

While you're still in Vancouver, I'd love to see you! I'll be heading there on July 19 for a week or so. Will e-mail when I have more plans made.

Lara
25 Jun 2010, 11:07 p.m.  | 

Good for you. :)

Also, happy birthday. I don't know what the actual date is because I don't have a great number memory, and you have removed all traces of it from Facebook. So I'm saying it here, either in advance or belatedly or on time, I'm not sure. :D

Daniel
25 Jun 2010, 11:11 p.m.  | 

@Lara It's today! So thankyou!
@Val yay! You can stay with me if you like :-)

roland
25 Jun 2010, 11:26 p.m.  | 

Happy my co-junivigintiquintarian that you are. Nine years ahead of you - I have changed career, country and a lot of other stuff in the interim. The biggest changes were all worth doing.

Andrea
26 Jun 2010, 2:39 p.m.  | 

First of all - Happy (slightly belated) birthday!! Hope you had a wonderful day and enjoy the weekend as well.

So you haven't really been happy since you moved back to Vancouver. But during this time you have also come to many new realizations about yourself, so be happy about that. Change can be a wonderful thing, scary usually, but exciting nonetheless. So take what you've learned and make yourself happy! And as far as everyone else, once you figure yourself out they will be ok with your decisions. People who care are usually just worried about you making your life harder than it has to be. But if you do what you want (even if that means living in another country) they will be happy with your choices if you are. Just keep that in mind.

Ok you got my 2 cents again, so I'll stop now. Again happy b-day

Donna
27 Jun 2010, 2:23 p.m.  | 

Clearly you need to run away to somewhere sunny and warm! Come visit me ;)

Happy (belated) birthday! *hug*

Daniel
28 Jun 2010, 7:53 a.m.  | 

@Donna are you nuts?? There's poisonous... everything over there!

...but there *is* a job in Sydney on that djangozen.com site...

@Andrea you're totally right. Hey I hope you've got time for me when I come visit in August!

Donna
28 Jun 2010, 11:23 a.m.  | 

bah! The poisonous stuff generally hides from you anyway...

Roy
12 Jul 2010, 3:22 p.m.  | 

Way Happy Belated Birthday Cousin! I remember taking the Greyhound out to Vancouver and scaring the shit out of your Dad because it landed Downtown at 4am and I missed the New West depot. You were a week old and believe it or not took you to Hells Gate over the Fraser River......Be Happy my Friend because dead is a long time and you are heading into the peak of your living journey :-)
btw talked to AS and wished hers today!

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