On Suburbia
Lately, I've come to dread my weekends, which is odd, because I'm so very busy during the week, but nonetheless it's happening. It took me a while to deduce from where this sense of desperation was coming, but it finally donned on me: it's the suburbs.
I don't think that I can accurately explain my discomfort with suburbia. Sure, it's completely wasteful and unsustainable, but my political reaons for hating that way of life are separate. No, it's the... emptiness. Standing in a field of parked cars in blistering heat, surrounded by pickup trucks and SUVs all humming along with their heat-generating A/C units. The acres of big box stores, parking lots and big box stores, all separated by pointless little medians and mock "nature" in the form of a tree in a concrete box or a wood bench facing yet another parking stall. It makes my nerves itch just thinking about it.
I've been out to the suburbs (yes, that includes Kelowna) every weekend without exception for at least 5 weeks now. Obviously, it's not out of a sense of masochism, but rather because I have friends out there. I guess, part of me secretly hoped that they'd all get the hell out of Langley and Surrey before I returned from Toronto and that I wouldn't have to endure a personal hell just to be with them, but it would seem that Fate is a sadist: rather than leave, they've entrenched themselves.
Jeanie and Ruth have moved into a pretty house in White Rock, and Chris and Trish have bought a house out in Langley. Quinn and Michelle seem to like it there and my parents moved to Kelowna because of the lifestyle. The truth is though, I don't begrudge any of them for their choices. They've chosen that life for themselves and barring the inevitable major financial collapse hinging on oil scarcity, they'll probably continue to enjoy it for years to come. I just hate having to go there to see them -- and by hate, I mean hate. The mere thought breeds contempt in my veins, I get bitter just boarding the Skytrain.
It's probably all a mix of the horrible memories I have of that place and my knowledge of the socio-economic-environmental implications of such a lifestyle that does this, but knowing this doesn't make it any better. I miss my friends. I'll continue to see them. But I just need to vent.
I hate it so much.
Edit: 2008-05-28
It's been brought to my attention that this post might be construed as bitterness toward my friends for making me come out to the burbs all the time without them making the same sacrifice for me. Nothing could be further from the truth. Chris Rhodes and Trish especially have made the trip on many occasions and I've appreciated the visit every time. This post was, more than anything, about how much I hate the suburbs.
Comments
noreen
26 May 2008, 4:50 a.m. |
As always in life, it could be worse.. YOU could be living out in suburbia. :)
Daniel
26 May 2008, 7:13 a.m. |
No, actually. I don't think I could.
noreen
26 May 2008, 7:12 p.m. |
No, you wouldn't want to or choose to, but if you had absolutely no choice, you'd be living there.
Actually I have a question for you. If one of your close family members (who live out in the suburbs) got sick, would you take the sacrifice to go live there and take care of them? This is provided that you're the only one able to do so; and that you want to spend more time with him/her.
Daniel
26 May 2008, 9:40 p.m. |
You always have a choice, it's just a question of your willingness to accept the consequences of that choice.
What you're asking is: "Assuming that this hypothetical family member would allow it, would you make yourself miserable for them, or would you do something less personal like hire someone to take care of them?"
I suppose I would go the more personal route, but obviously my preference would be move us both somewhere more urban where I would be able to retain my sanity and they'd have more independence and mobility. Your question is based on an assumption that living in a suburb would be better for one or both parties involved and I don't see that ever being the case.
noreen
27 May 2008, 5:32 a.m. |
kind of difficult to relocate a senior from his/her home where they've lived for years and yers. for instance, can you imagine moving your grandparents away from their delta home?
Daniel
27 May 2008, 4:18 p.m. |
I could, and I would if I had to take care of them. I don't think anyone in my family would expect me to give up my life and make myself miserable for something like that. Obviously, I wouldn't move my grandmother into a two-bedroom apartment in the West End, but a house on Commercial or Mount Pleasant would be doable for both of us.
Just let this go Noreen. You know that both my parents and grandparents read this and your hypothetical questions aren't helping.
Lara
27 May 2008, 5:10 p.m. |
Perhaps you should take a few weekends off from suburbia, or see if your friends can visit you in the city now and then for a change of pace.
noreen
27 May 2008, 5:20 p.m. |
Sorry for commenting about this. I hadn't meant to be rude and I'll keep my questions to myself next time.
Daniel
27 May 2008, 9:57 p.m. |
I already intend to take a sabbatical from suburbia. It's a tough thing to get used to if you consider the fact that until a few months ago, I'd not been to a suburb for over 4years... I didn't miss it.
Roy
27 May 2008, 10:57 p.m. |
Please fix it and stop complaining...you seem so upset...I just spent the last 12 days with your Aunt keeping my Mom alive in a hell hole of a Hospital located in an Ottawa East suburb......btw Ottawa has great urban landscapes to live in....new eco-friendly condos with bike paths walkways, bridges to traverse the ponds and rivers....la...la...la... love your blog it makes me smile.....
Melanie
29 May 2008, 1:54 a.m. |
I love the teeny tiny writing in this post. heh.
theresa
4 Jun 2008, 4:12 a.m. |
i think i share your hatred of the suburbs...aside from a random affection for etobicoke, since i grew up there. I realised this weekend though that that's why i hate visiting london (ontario) so much, it's nice to see my mum but it's so BORING. The sad thing is, downtown london has completely died...there's just no life there, and those towhouse/condo things continue to sprawl outwards...and we drive from cluster to cluster of said big box stores...
Roy
9 Jun 2008, 9:31 p.m. |
Would it not be nice if urban core inhabitants were given "real" incentives to promote "eco" aka economical and enviromental housing mix with business/arts/life........the push to suburbia is partly a result of hellish taxes on property owners in the core and the never ending human greed or need to build a Mansion to impress "someone???" I heard Harlem in NY was brought back to being a very desired living area based on the huge demand for housing and the penalties if you do not keep your area clean and healthy....kinda off topic but perhaps a model to work on......read up on Harlem quite interesting....good post.....
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