my life and theirs
i think i've finally figured out why i like living in toronto. it's not that toronto's all that great. the smog is pretty nasty as it is, and i think the people seriously need to learn how to relax. no, what keeps me in toronto is this feeling of helplessness i get back home. when i'm in toronto, i have my apartment, my job, my chosen path, but when i'm in vancouver i feel as though i'm surrounded by obligations that aren't part of that path. friends and family alike all seem to need things from me and worse, opinions of how my life should be run. there's nothing worse than a loved one laughing off what you want do with the rest of your life.
and so i'm on a plane "home". back to the pollution, the crazy pace and all of the things in my life i've personally set up to go the direction i feel i should be going. it's not an elegant setup, but it's mine and its where i want to be and whatever is in the way is up to me.
my mother says this opposition i feel back home is all in my head, and to her credit, i feel she's at least part right. maybe when i finally return, i'll be able to figure out how to fix that. until then though, i'm here in the big smoke.
and so i'm on a plane "home". back to the pollution, the crazy pace and all of the things in my life i've personally set up to go the direction i feel i should be going. it's not an elegant setup, but it's mine and its where i want to be and whatever is in the way is up to me.
my mother says this opposition i feel back home is all in my head, and to her credit, i feel she's at least part right. maybe when i finally return, i'll be able to figure out how to fix that. until then though, i'm here in the big smoke.
Comments
Robin
22 Jun 2005, 9:35 p.m. |
Man, that first paragraph is ALL me. I know exactly what you're talking about, especially the "laughing off" bit.
I could go on about other's opnions about how our lives should be run, but I think I'll save that for an analogue conversation...
queenmab
27 Jun 2005, 1:31 a.m. |
amen brother, i know exactly how you feel. but maybe for me not so much helplessness, but stagnation. it's too easy and comfortable to do nothing and not push yourself when you're at home, too comfortable and around family and friends.
dan, you've become so much more of a doer, since you left Van, so much less of just a dreamer...ahhh...how inspiring :)
daniel
27 Jun 2005, 1:34 a.m. |
aww. thanks man. in a way, that's the main reason i came out this way. "the world needs dreamers and the world needs doers, but most of all, the world needs dreamers who do" -- sarah ban breathnach
noreen
3 Feb 2006, 11:40 a.m. |
is it too late to say I wish you'd stay in toronto?
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