MovieTheatres.nl: Dutch Folk Just Don't Know When to Shut Up

As part of my series of reflections on my own culture shock living here in the Netherlands I thought it appropriate to cover movie going, something I do an awful lot of wherever I live.

The first thing most Canadians might be surprised by is the assigned seating. No more sitting on the floor in line for hours waiting to get into the theatre and fight for good seats. In the Netherlands you buy your tickets in advance, either at the door or online (Pathé even has an awesome mobile app), pick your seat, and show up 5min before the show starts. The only downside is that you can't move if the people around you are being assholes or if they stink.

The biggest theatre chain here also has an Unlimited club card. Take it to the theatre, scan it at the automated ticket dispenser and go see your movie... as many movies as you like, for a flat monthly rate of €19 -- roughly the price of two movies. I have one and let me tell you it's pretty fabulous. I find myself going to movies I wouldn't normally see, and walking out if they suck. It totally changes the experience.

Also, with the exception of some animated children's films, movies here are also *not* dubbed. Instead they're subtitled which is pretty awesome until you're watching a movie and someone starts speaking Russian and the subtitles... well they're already in Dutch so you're SOL.

So that's the good stuff, the bad though is pretty bad.

First of all it would appear that Dutch people do not know when to shut up. Talking (not whispering) in the theatre is par for the course here. People regularly get up, walk in front of the screen, have loud conversations and then just leave the door open when they walk out, only to return 20min later and do it all over again.

Premieres, like the one I attended the other night, are particularly worse. This is where people's inner douchebags are truly released. Whenever a woman walks on screen, half the audience shouted "Whore!" and randomly throughout the movie you hear "Homo!" and other shitty behaviour. The theatre staff remain blind and deaf to it all, and happily sell _cases_ of beer to movie goers on their way in.

Being at a premiere in the Netherlands is like being in a room with 400 drunk 12 year olds.

The event was a doubleheader, but I bailed after the first movie. The way I figure it, they should be paying _me_ to put up with that kind of thing, not the other way around.