i think i've finally figured out why i like living in toronto. it's not that toronto's all that great. the smog is pretty nasty as it is, and i think the people seriously need to learn how to relax. no, what keeps me in toronto is this feeling of helplessness i get back home. when i'm in toronto, i have my apartment, my job, my chosen path, but when i'm in vancouver i feel as though i'm surrounded by obligations that aren't part of that path. friends and family alike all seem to need things from me and worse, opinions of how my life should be run. there's nothing worse than a loved one laughing off what you want do with the rest of your life.
and so i'm on a plane "home". back to the pollution, the crazy pace and all of the things in my life i've personally set up to go the direction i feel i should be going. it's not an elegant setup, but it's mine and its where i want to be and whatever is in the way is up to me.
my mother says this opposition i feel back home is all in my head, and to her credit, i feel she's at least part right. maybe when i finally return, i'll be able to figure out how to fix that. until then though, i'm here in the big smoke.
